Seeking Independence
Most people think I am pretty independent. Well... At least I would think most people think of me that way. Jetting off to do a solo trip and stuff. New acquaintances even think I am the sporty type! Haa!! But frankly speaking, I am actually very reliant and passive when I am in Singapore. Think I have two personality: In Singapore - Reliant, Lazy, Slack, Complacent, Boring. Overseas - Active, Independent, Enthusiastic, Reflective. Hmm... Don't seem too good. Why this difference in attitude? Well, I seriously think being in Singapore is to be contained in my comfort zone. And when I am in my comfort zone.. Well.. I am very comfortable. Nothing provokes my life. Nothing stimulates my mind. My brain is in the degenerative state. I need stimuli to excite me!
My plan to continue with massage classes didn't go too well. Classes have been postponed and further postponed. Worst still, cancelled! Guess, most Singaporeans are only keen on being the receiving side of massage. =(
This weekend is very non-exciting. Last week at least there was still chalet. This week.. Nothing interesting. Well, except for Zpop concert, which was so so only. Think I am too old to appreciate pop music. As I was telling my friend. I have moved on from 93.3fm to Gold 90.5fm!! Sigh... Must resign to the fate that I am old liao...
Also, I've been thinking. I should learn to be more independent. I always have all these ideas to go do many activities. Go for the macritchie treetop walk, have a picnic in the gardens, listen to the free concerts at esplanade on weekend evenings etc etc. But then, well.. My friends are very busy people. Or rather, my circle of close friends actually quite limited. Of cos, I have many friends from over the years, but not many whom I can spontaneously jio to go out. My sister is in 遥远的美国, Bian is in Oz. Rest few closer ones, well.. They have their partners to attend to. Can't demand too much.
Another thing is.. I used to be very contended to stay at home and basically do nothing. I enjoyed staying at home and do nothing. Enjoy the peacefulness of being at home. But now.. Like today. I don't enjoy it anymore. Maybe because I am alone at home. My mom is occupied with her singing classes, Sis has bf, Bro has gf, Dad in India! All alone... In the past, usually someone is in with me... Think I am not used to this loneliness. Hmm.. I need a bf to dispel the loneliness. Haa. But don't think I have the good luck as yet... Cupid hasn't shot any arrows in my direction. Haa...
Anyway, back to the point of being more independent... I am thinking that I should be more independent. There's no need to always be accompanied on the activities I want to do. I can just go ahead and do them on my own. I can always go alone to esplanade or botanic gardens or where ever I fancy. Hey, I've traveled overseas on my own.. What's the big deal of visiting places in Singapore alone? Think it's more of my mentality. I should stop thinking that doing such activities alone won't be fun. I think I should convert my split personality to: typical working Singaporean on weekdays and tourist in Singapore on weekends (for until my internship ends at least)! That way, I will fill my weekends with adventures to discover Singapore! Then maybe I will be contented with my life...
My plan to continue with massage classes didn't go too well. Classes have been postponed and further postponed. Worst still, cancelled! Guess, most Singaporeans are only keen on being the receiving side of massage. =(
This weekend is very non-exciting. Last week at least there was still chalet. This week.. Nothing interesting. Well, except for Zpop concert, which was so so only. Think I am too old to appreciate pop music. As I was telling my friend. I have moved on from 93.3fm to Gold 90.5fm!! Sigh... Must resign to the fate that I am old liao...
Also, I've been thinking. I should learn to be more independent. I always have all these ideas to go do many activities. Go for the macritchie treetop walk, have a picnic in the gardens, listen to the free concerts at esplanade on weekend evenings etc etc. But then, well.. My friends are very busy people. Or rather, my circle of close friends actually quite limited. Of cos, I have many friends from over the years, but not many whom I can spontaneously jio to go out. My sister is in 遥远的美国, Bian is in Oz. Rest few closer ones, well.. They have their partners to attend to. Can't demand too much.
Another thing is.. I used to be very contended to stay at home and basically do nothing. I enjoyed staying at home and do nothing. Enjoy the peacefulness of being at home. But now.. Like today. I don't enjoy it anymore. Maybe because I am alone at home. My mom is occupied with her singing classes, Sis has bf, Bro has gf, Dad in India! All alone... In the past, usually someone is in with me... Think I am not used to this loneliness. Hmm.. I need a bf to dispel the loneliness. Haa. But don't think I have the good luck as yet... Cupid hasn't shot any arrows in my direction. Haa...
Anyway, back to the point of being more independent... I am thinking that I should be more independent. There's no need to always be accompanied on the activities I want to do. I can just go ahead and do them on my own. I can always go alone to esplanade or botanic gardens or where ever I fancy. Hey, I've traveled overseas on my own.. What's the big deal of visiting places in Singapore alone? Think it's more of my mentality. I should stop thinking that doing such activities alone won't be fun. I think I should convert my split personality to: typical working Singaporean on weekdays and tourist in Singapore on weekends (for until my internship ends at least)! That way, I will fill my weekends with adventures to discover Singapore! Then maybe I will be contented with my life...
posted by Nia at
3:25 PM
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