Feeling shitty

Still thinking about Him. Why? Why can't I get Him out of my head? Whenever I am alone with nothing to do, he jus pops up in my mind. Yeesh! I want to forget Him. He's not worth me remembering! Such a flirt, such a heartless guy. Didn't even email to reply to my note. Yet I am still finding excuses for Him: Maybe it's too tough for Him to write email with his much to be improved English. Maybe he will write me a letter or postcard instead since he can get my home address from the school. Maybe.. Maybe. Just face it! He's not going to contact you at all. He was just looking for some fun to entertain himself in class. He's probably now flirting with another girl in the new class. Forget it.. He's not worth remembering..
Went through the research institute interview, got the internship. Think they are really desperate, probably not enough applicants that's why anyhow just accept me. Not feeling elated that I've got it. The remuneration is pretty crap. Net S$2000, no CPF, no leave days and no benefits of any kind. Even have to cut my pay should I want to take half day off to attend my own graduation ceremony. Ridiculous really. Sigh. I don't look forward to it at all. Still actually thinking if I should back out of it. But there's realities and the promises I made to myself in Chiangmai. I should stick to them. I should just follow through the internship, survive the 1 year. Who knows, I may end up loving it and intend to further my studies in it. Even if I don't, I would have a good chance to save money and then do whatever I want to do after the 1 year. It's just one year! Not very long... But then not short either. Sigh... I shall persevere. I shall prove to myself that I can take all kinds of hardship. Be determined! Be true to my decisions and not runaway at any crisis. Remember the lot I got at Wat Chedi Luang. Steer the ship through the storm and I will find light at the end...