Thank you Buddha!

Heaven is on my side! After all the waiting, finally received a black n white confirmation on our leave status! I have 10 days of leave..Well.. Used up one liao for convocation, so I still have 9 days more! Yeah! I shall find a chance to speak to my boss on the early november leave! Hee.. Time to start planning! Oh yeah.. Finally got good reason to go read travel guides again! Hee... Suggestions anyone? Looking at 9 days or max 11 days of holiday! Finally, something I can look forward to! Yeah baby!

Nothing inspiring to say...

I am not blogging as often as I would like. There are many reasons for this..
1. I share the laptop with Sis, she brings it to work everyday. So I can only use it when she comes home and she comes home late very often.. So more often than not, I've slept liao...
2. Very tired after work most of the days.. Don't really have the energy to sit in front of the laptop to think and write. Think too much at work liao... I think. Haa.
3. My life has been really boring... Nothing interesting to talk about. Nothing worth mentioning. Basically, my life has been revolving around work.. And work is too boring to mention on blog.. Too scientific and boring. Think will put anyone reading this to sleep...
4. Somehow I've been thinking that maybe I am blogging for the wrong reason. Why am I blogging? To let all my friends know what I have been up to? But then, I only let very few friends read my blog. To make myself reflect more? Ermm.. Think my last few entries quite bo liao.. Not much of reflection eh? To fill up the internet with more junk? Haa.. Think the internet is full of junk liao! Haa...
Anyway, I am writing now.. Cos think I haven't been blogging for a week liao.. Maybe I should. Haa...

Oh well... Anyway, this week has generally been a good week. I bought a watch that I have been eyeing on for months finally! And very please with this purchase. The more I look at it.. The more I like it. Hee. What do u think?
Next, work wise. On Friday, finally got some answers to all my past month efforts. Yup.. I am doing what I am suppose to do! Haa.. Well, basically, the methods I am testing out, worked. Next step is to optimise. My boss even said that if everything continues as smoothly, I am going to finish my project soon!! Haa... Easier said than done.
Been thinking and thinking about my leave. Still waiting for a black n white confirmation regarding our leave status. Are we going to get the 14 days as mentioned by M our director? Or is it just another passing statement. I want my leave! I am not greedy, I just want 3 days at least!! I want to travel! In early November, Deepavali falls on a tues (1/11) and Puasa on thurs (3/11) of the same week. If I can take mon, wed and fri, I can have 9 days for holiday!! I want to travel! Yes I know I am saving up to go US and many other places next year, but I need a break! I am thinking of Northern Thailand or Vietnam or Yunan. Anyone interested to join me!?!? Hee. Natas is coming, I possible I want to confirm my leave so that can get the tickets... I want to travel!!

Getting Vain

I used not to care much for my appearance. Like when I was in uni, most of the time I am in berms/pants and old tee-shirts, unless I am going out. I can't be bothered to dress up really, especially during the 2nd last semester when I did my honours research project. Hey.. I am in the lab half the time, and ain't smart to wear the prettiest clothes in the lab, only to ruin them with all the chemicals.
I am still working in a lab now. But things are different this time round. It's a bio-analytical lab. Bio: Clean, minimal bacteria environment. Analytics: Mainly huge complicated instruments. What's more the silly dress code just require us to wear covered shoes. Don't even need pants. Ie. I can wear mini-skirts (not that I do) or even shorts also nevermind. Never can understand the logic (but it's the standard practise in bio labs). I mean, if you spill some chemical or biomaterial on your feet, I am sure your legs will be splashed too! So isn't there a need to protect the legs? I do believe the skin structure of our legs is the same as that of the feet. Funny requirements. But what the heck, I am enjoying it. Of cos, not requiring me to wear pants doesn't mean that I can't. It's more of choice. I can still wear my old tees and pants. But I don't. Haa.. Yup, the choice I have made is to look pretty.. well.. decent at least.
I guess I am no longer studying, but working. There is a minimal unspoken dress code. Jeans and tees are fine as long they don't look dirty and worn out. For me, I decided to go a step further. Basically, I've been wearing skirts. I do realise that I enjoy wearing them. Skirts tend to be less 约束, more 自在. Cooler too! Haa. And I guess, more importantly, prettier! Haa. This new found preference also mean that I can give myself more excuse to go shopping! Haa. Buy couple more skirts and also shoes to go with skirts! Haa.. Since I have to wear covered shoes, and only have 2 pumps that can go with a couple of my skirts without looking too or-bit.. I should then go shop for more! Haa...
In short, think I am getting vain. Sigh. Haa. But I guess every girl is entitled to be vain rt? As long as I don't go overboard, buying hoards of stuff. (Pretty hard actually.. considering that Singapore clothes sizes are always too small for me.. Sigh.)
Another sign of my vain-ness.. I am painting my nails. (And my mom's too.. haa). I used never to paint my nails... Used to think that it only spoils the nails since it prevents them from breathing.. Now, I paint them a clear laquer. Enjoy seeing them reflecting the light, and it's much easier then buffing them. Haven't yet have the courage to paint them in any colours yet.. When that time comes, I am really vain liao.. Haa.

Be The Change I Want To See

The phrase in the title is the welcome note on my handphone. A message I see everytime I on my handphone. It was adapted from a quote by Mathama Gandhi - " Be the change you want to see in this world". I have had the phone for 3 years, so have been looking at it for 3 years. But till now, I have yet to fulfill it, for I have yet to pick up enough courage to take the first step in changing myself and changing this world.
Went for a Social Entrepreneurship Forum 2005 this afternoon. The issues discussed reminded me of the ideas and thoughts I once had.. They were thoughts of wanting to make a difference to other people's lives. They were ideas that were worthy of further thoughts, but I never gave them chances to develop. Don't know why, but my inertia to put forth the first step is so huge. I still can't commit myself to a regular involvement with a local social cause. I don't know the reason behind my lack of courage. I think it's because I lack the passion for it. But then what breeds passion? Is one born with the passion for something or is it cultivated through experiences? I can't identify myself with local causes, but yet I am more than willing to help an international effort. Why? Sometimes I think that I am very 虚伪. What's the point of being so enthusiastic about helping a developing country when you can't even be bothered about helping your own fellow citizens? Maybe it really is in born and I just happen to fall into the category of identifying more with international issues. Or maybe I am deceiving myself... Helping people in other countries is just an excuse to get myself out of Singapore?!? I don't know. I am still trying to understand myself better.
As I listened to the speakers of the forum... I start to think of my choices... Again. The speakers are social entrepreneurs or people involved one way or another in social enterprises. That is their work. A work that is very meaningful for the bottomline is not about profit but about improving the community and respecting humanity. I always think that I want my work to be as meaningful. So am I wrong in doing this internship? Can I really not care about pragmatic issues e.g. financial stability to be involved in social causes that more than often not pays a meagre sum? DoI have enough fire in my belly to keep me sustained in face of such a harsh reality? At the present moment, I only have smoothering ashes.. Not yet dead but waiting to be rekindled. When will the day come? Guess I will know.. for when it does I will be burning with passion for a believe and slowly become the change I want to see.

Grandma

Just came back from visiting my grandma. She has been a naughty grandma. Eating all the stuff she isn't suppose to eat when she has serious high blood pressure and diabetes. My mom was scolding her, but she wasn't listening. Went on and on about her being old already, time for her to leave. Even said that it's a blessing to die now then continue to live another minute. Rather upset to hear her say that. Yet, I kind of agree. When I am old and frail, I rather die earlier than continue to hang round on Earth wasting my time, after all ain't heaven the best place to be. Well, hopefully I will go to heaven lah... Don't think I've done any major crimes yet that constitute the 18 levels of hell... Haa.
I used to be very close to my grandma. She especially dotes on me and my siblings cos my mom is her only daughter. Feeling guilty recently for haven't been visiting her regularly. Haven't visited her a few months actually.. Exams, travel and work.. But really, these are just excuses. I don't want to regret when she really leaves me for heaven... I don't want to regret not having spent more time with her.. As such, I resolve to visit her at least once every 2 weeks.
Grandma, may you live to a ripe old age in good health.

Busy yet Boring

What a week...
Been so busy with my lab stuff that I hardly ever got the chance to sit down at my desk in the office. Not to mentioned the OT everyday. Today still had to go back and collect my fractions. But then again, most of the time was actually spent waiting for results or waiting to do the next step. So... ended up talking to my colleagues most of the time. Hee. Hmm.. sounds contradictory hor? Busy yet got time to chit chat!?? Haa.. Yup, that's lab work.
But seriously speaking. Besides work, there's is nothing much in my life worth mentioning. No stimulus. Nothing that is worth mentioning in this blog. That's why I haven't been writing as much. That's why I can only end this entry here. How sad...