Showy

Came back from a Christmas party at Biopolis. A few colleagues had come together to present a musical item. The lead singer was a classically trained singer, so performed quite well. Well, one of the best items there was. Anyway, on the way back, W asked me again to perform for next year's company dinner. I said again because he has asked before and I rejected. This time round, he mentioned something that got me thinking. Part of the conversation went something like this.

W: Don't you have the urge to perform?

Me: No. Do I look like the showy sort?

W: A bit.

Me: Thanx a lot loh.

Now, initially I was a bit taken aback. Never thought of myself as the showy sort. But W's words kind of joted me to think.

I guess I am showy. I enjoying singing, and very often would be singing softly. I don't mind others hear me sing. In fact, frankly speaking, I wish for them to hear cos I know that my singing is quite alright! I guess this is being showy. Just not the loud showy kind, but more subduded, more reserve, with elements of being paiseh, not wanting others to think that I am showy!! And also, I'm afraid to make a fool of myself should I go out of tune or miss the beat or forget the lyrics.

Now, having realised that I always have that ai4 xian4 streak in me, I am wondering if I should perform on my company's dinner. For W to ask me to perform, he must have some faith in me? Or at least think that I am good enough? Though I've never really sang properly in front of him before, just my usual soft soft singing in his car. Also, it's all in the name of fun, shouldn't I be more sporting?

A bigger issue will be what can I sing on such a function? It's a rather casual company dinner by the beach. I have to sing English songs, which I don't know many. I don't want to sing love songs cos that just seem so inappropriate. The song must not be too slow, if not will be very anti-climax. I can't sing jazz. I don't want to do a duet with my colleague, whom I find a tat annoying. =P I really don't know what song I can sing!

If anyone has any good suggestion, do let me know. If there's really a suitable song, and if W asked me again, maybe I will agree to do a number!

14 Dec 19XX

14 Dec 1982

At approximately 7.45am, a huge baby girl came to join this big wide world. Luckily, she didn't caused her mom to much pain.

14 Dec 198X

Had a very bitter chocolate birthday cake. Only one in my childhood memory.

14Dec 1997

In China. Not sure was in Shanghai, Suzhou or Beijing then. But remembered the school teachers celebrated for the students who happened to have their birthdays while on the trip. Think there were about 4 or 5 of us, and each had a cake for him/herself.

14 Dec 1999

In Melbourne, Australia. Wandering around city. Secretly had a bottle of Fosters beer at Hard Rock Cafe.

14 Dec 2001

In Kampong Thom, Cambodia. On PA2, one of my life changing experiences. The team sang the brithday song for me before we started work on. Remembered the my team leader also specially bought something from the market for me. But don't remember what was it already.

14 Dec 2002

In Vientiane, Laos. My most treasured birthday, with PA3. Was so surprised and touched. Every memory of it has been eched into my heart.

14 Dec 2003

In Malaysia. On my trip through Malaysia with Zhenqing who was so gracious to bring me around and even brought me to her hometown.

14 Dec 2005

??????? One thing for sure... I'm stuck here in SG. Can't fulfill my wish to be abroad on my birthday, but I guess can't expect every year to be as I wish.

I don't usually care much for birthdays, especially my own. It's just another day. It's not as if I will suddenly wake up on this day enlightened. As you can see, besides those birthdays which I spent overseas, I don't remember most of them. It's really no big deal.

But somehow. Feeling a tat little lonely this birthday. Can't pin point any particular reason. Maybe I am disappointed that I am still here at home now, 10mins to my birthday. Maybe it's just that I happen to be alone in front of the computer now, typing this. Don't know. Don't really care. Don't really matter. Afterall.. it's just another day. Life still goes on whether or not you are so called one year older.

(14 Dec 2005 11.30pm: Ate the cake my sis bought. The day felt a bit more special. )

On High

You all know that I don't drink alcohol. Last time I drank was in Laos, cos Beer Lao is good! Even then, I don't drink much. In SG, I only take sips from my friends' glasses, just for the taste of it. I don't drink because it's discouraged in my religion and my mom would probably blow her top if she knew. Anyway, last night was a totally different story.

Went out with my bunch of JC classmates yesterday. Been out since noon, went from Little India to Bugis to Marina to Boat Quay to Clarke Quay, by then was about 11pm. We headed into Brewerks for a drink and rest. Now, usually I would have ice tea or some non-alcoholic stuff when I'm in a pub (Huh?!? Yaa.. It's damn lugi.), but somehow, yesterday I just had the urge to drink. No particular reason I guess. But then again, I always felt kind of like the spoil-sport whenever I order the non-alcoholic stuff. Kind of like a dampener.

Yesterday, just gave in to the whelm. I ordered a pint of beer. Now a pint isn't a lot.. 16 oz to be exact. But guess, for me, cos I don't take alcohol often, by the 1/3 of the glass, I was feeling very hot under the collar! My neck and face started to burn. By the 2/3, I was flushing red. Not very red, but visibly red. Always used to think that I don't flush cos I'm too dark or something, but guess I was wrong. My friends even helped me with the last 1/3. By the end, I was feeling sleepy and yet high at the same time.

Now, I've never drank to the stage of high, not even in Laos. I wasn't very high. Didn't go round talking nonsense or dancing around or anything. But I was feeling very happy. Grinning non stop for no apparent reason! Laughing and talking bit silly. It was actually quite a nice feeling. It felt like I have no worries at all. My mind was just in a blank of silly happiness. Hee. I was still in control of myself of course... Think I must have been a silly sight though! Took me about 1.5hrs, 500ml of water and loads of walking to cleared my head of the high. Hee.

All in all, was an interesting experience. I will never allow myself to get completely drunk because that's horrible. But I guess an occassional drink with a bunch of close friends can be quite relaxing and well.. plain blank silly happiness. Hmm.. this was my first time at drinking. Guess, when there's a first.. there will be many more to come! Die... Haa.

(picture was taken from the 13th floor of National Library)

Work, Travel, Study

Was looking up on programes on tourism that I could do and came to realise that I should be looking at Masters programes and not those short diploma courses. After all, I have a degree already, I should make use of that leverage and advance to something higher. Quite a few masters programes in tourism or business don't require degree in the relevant field. Also, I am starting to toy with the idea of doing a masters overseas. It only seems logical to me, since I so want to spend sometime abroad.

Guess the only issue is money. For that, I happen to come across a scholarship given by a tourism education institute in Australia (www.the-ice.org) for doing masters programs under their member institutes. Without a scholarship, I'm even toying with the idea of doing a part-time masters and work while I study. I thought, since I want to do work and travel, why not work, travel and study altogether!?!?

One of the courses that caught my eye is the Master of Hotel and Tourism Management by Southern Cross Uni (http://www.scu.edu.au/schools/tourism/index.php?page_id=217&menu=4_159). It has an internship component which I think is really good, practical learning experience. Of course, I will need to further look into all the available courses. All these are still ideas.. swimming around in my head. I can't even say for certain I want to foray into the tourism industry as a career. Really don't know yet. Need to find out much more. But right now, these ideas are very appealing to me. Help me take a look at the scholarship and programe and give me your views on it can? Thanx.