Stingy As Can Be

I was feeling very buei gam wan (不甘愿). I am still feeling a bit buei gam wan. But I guess I have calmed down a bit over the night. Why the feeling of buei gam wan? It’s because I have to pay $47 for a coach to KL, when I can pay $34…
The interns are going on a well-deserved break next weekend. We are heading up to KL for shopping, eating and more shopping and eating. As it was pretty much a last minute decision, and it being a long weekend, tickets up to KL are pretty hard to come-by if you want to maximize the time in KL by leaving on Friday.
My friends volunteered to head down to lavender to buy the coach tickets. This particular trip was originally quoted by the bus operator to cost $35, and it allows us to leave SG at 6pm, reaching KL around midnight. However, prices went sky rocketing high when they reached the agent, apparently the operator quoted wrongly and the actual cost is $47! Now, in the first place, it’s ridiculous that the operator could have quoted wrongly. My friend made quite a few calls to inquire about it prior to heading down. Secondly, the difference is so huge. If they had jacked up the prices, due to high demand, this is 杀人放火！
The day before, I had gone to enquire for coach seats at Boon Lay shopping centre. One of the agencies still had seats available, but problem being that the coach leaves SG at 9.30pm, reaching KL at about 3am or so. However, it costs only $34! To me, I don’t see any difference leaving SG at 6pm or 9.30pm. Either way, we will be reaching KL late at night, we have to take a cab to our accommodation. Most of the time, we will be sleeping on the coach anyway. How much more tiring is it? What’s more, we won’t have to rush to catch the coach after work, allowing us time for a nice dinner, or even go home for a shower and change of clothes! To me, the extra $13 is worth way more than the few hours extra we gain by leaving earlier. You might think I’m stingy, and yes I am. But in cases like this, I don’t see the logic of paying the extra 40% more! BUT …
The majority’s choice was to leave earlier, so what can I do but pay the extra $13?! Actually, I can alternatively, be extra ‘bright’ and travel on Saturday with the other intern and his girlfriend. But, hey, I’m not that dumb to be a huge lightbulb.
This whole thing is really not an issue, frankly speaking. It’s not as if I can’t afford another $13. I guess it just reflects my principles in life. I am stingy when it comes to matters of travel and daily necessities, but I am willing to splurge on other things like good food and movies. But when traveling with others, compromises have to be made. Someone has to give in. In this case, I don’t wish to be labeled unsporting or 扫兴, or become the cause of a tension. After all, it’s meant to be a holiday, where everyone enjoys him/herself. If an extra $13 can make everyone happy, fine then… I will pay the $13, even if it means feeling buei gam wan. 人不为我，我为人人！=P
This Transnasional Express better be worth my 47 bucks!!

Local Films

Prior to yesterday, I've never watched any local films on the big screen. Well, not that I can recall at least. But within 2 days, I've watched 2 local films.. all reflecting the Singaporean life.

"Singapore Dreaming"
I didn't exactly planned to watch this show. It was a mystery screening that my brother won. Anyway, I did however had the notion to watch it as the directors are Colin Goh and The Wife. If you read Sunday Times Life, you prob will have read Colin Goh's column. He's the author of the TalkingCock.com too. I always enjoy his columns, so had been anticipating this show.
Now, the show is not bad. Being a local film, it has lots of references to little things in Singapore society and with the large amount of Hokkien used by some of the characters, some of the issues are quite 贴切。Yet, I do find the topics presented slightly cliché.
It basically centers around a typical Singaporean family who lives in the HDB estate. Dad yearns to move up the social class - aimming for 5Cs. Wife is a typical know-nothing housewife. Son just 'graduated' from overseas, but because his degree is from some unknown university, gets looked down upon. Daughter feels 委屈 cos the parents 重男轻女，and her husband isn't earning big bucks. There's even a son's girlfriend who helped pay for the son's studies overseas, only to be disappointed by him.
All these points are awfully familar, which is not the issue. It's just that I wonder are Singaporeans really so materialistic? Are the issues raised really a true reflection of what the majority of Singaporeans are? Personally, I can't identify with most of the points raised, especially the thing about living in condos to elevate the social status. Ok, I don't deny that the bit on prestigious degrees. People do look at you differently when you say you've graduated from Cambridge, Oxford, MIT, Stanford etc etc. Even I have the same prejudice against local unis.. (Yaa.. I know I graduated from NUS... so you can see how much I value my own degree!=P) I think most Singaporeans, especially the younger generation, have moved on from the materialistic pursue. I think we too value greatly our emotional and mental growth. Of course, no one will complain of having deep pockets and luxurious goodies, but I don't think these things are the main concern for most youths anymore. But then again, maybe it's just my wishful thinking that people have moved on from seeking material wealth. Have you? I think I have, I hoped.
Anyhow, overall, it's still worth a catch. Hey, it got me thinking didn't it?

"Singapore GaGa"
This is a documentary film, or rather as the show wrote - video. It was directed by Tan Pin Pin. She centered the film on the lesser known aspects of Singapore. In it, she featured an old busker at raffles place mrt, who juggles tennis balls and plays the harmonica; a lady who sings as she tries to sell packets of tissue to passerbys; madrasah school's sports day; local toy pianist; victor and charlie and a harmonica player among some other stuff.
All these are little things that are part of our local community but which we don't give much thought to. It's sad that half the time people don't even give a second look to the old busker. How much compassion is there in your heart? They don't need our pity, just a little understanding. I am guilty of faking ignorance when I pass by those tissue sellers. Sometimes you just can't help but wonder, there are so many of them. How much can I help by buying those tissues from them? And goodness, $1 for 3 packets of tissue? I can buy a whole big pack of it! The stinginess and selfishness fouls my heart. Yet, on reflection, what is $1 to me? I may not be able to help all in need, but at least that $1 may have made a difference to the seller that day. And that is sufficient.
There are other issues raised that are worth reflecting upon which I shall not dwell on here. This is a good film. Sadly, it ended its run at the ArtsHouse today. If it's being shown again, do go and catch it. You will view the old busker or those tissue sellers differently.

Time to Go to

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heartWhich is why you're attracted to the romance of RomeStrolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in handAnd gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

清明

今天，我上山去了。
隔了十年有，我再次到坟场纪拜祖先。我爷爷在我还没出世的两年前就去世了。他的坟墓埋在坟场的最高点，辽望远处一片绿油油。地理位置优越！我的小叔开玩笑说：“在这里建栋洋房应该不错！”
老实说，坟场其实满漂亮的。一座一座的“独立式洋房"整整齐齐并列着。每一栋还有“后花园”， 后人来纪拜时，就会清理杂草，祭奠时就会插上五颜六色的纸花。
而今天的天气真的称得上“风和日丽”。我从爷爷的洋房眺望整个坟场，心是平静开朗的。

Realisation

I realise the journeys home from work are times when I reflect unconsciously. Because I'm usually on my own, I have time to think through the day's events or ponder over some stuff with not much distractions from surroundings. I've made little discoveries about myself on these journeys.
All my life I haven't really placed much expectations on myself. In terms of concrete expectations that is. Like must score 9A1s out of 10 or something like that. I have goals but nothing solid, so I guess what happens in the end is that I slack off and don't produce the best results I am capable off - good but not good enough. This slackness only pertains to situations involving only myself. My studies, my research work etc.

However, when it comes to things that involve other people, my sense of responsibility just seem to jump by hundreds of folds. When I know that my performance will affect others, I really put my heart and soul into the work to ensure that everything proceeds smoothly. In all cases of teamwork- chinese orchestra, drama, community service and even now, my internship coursework... I feel the obligation to do my best, not to answer to myself, but to answer to others and I guess in sense, prove to others my ability.

This is not exactly a good thing. I should not be proving to others but to myself. I am answerable to only myself (well, and my family I guess). Why am I only doing my best in front of others? Do I care only for what others think? What about being responsible to myself? I must start correcting this mentally. I must really look into my inner self... and answer to me.

Nothing Went Right

SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF!!!