The First, Last and Only

Some of you may recall my earlier posting on the Marie France Transformation which I signed up for, but alas never selected. Haa. Anyway, the company called recently and graciously offered a single free consultation and trial. So being a typical greedy Singaporean, I of cos took it up.
As such, went for the session just now after work. It was .. How should I say.. Rather interesting.
I reached about 10mins before the scheduled time, so was asked to wait a while. While waiting, about 4 women came in for their appointments. That's like 4 in about 8 mins or so. No wonder the beauty and slimming businesses are booming.
Anyway, first up was the consultation. I have to strip to my undergarments for measurements. The consultant, K, pointed out all my problem areas, which basically were ALL my areas. Thighs, butt, mid-drift and arms. Ermm, don't think there's anywhere else to store fats already. After asking about my ideal weight and taking my weight (which being a women - I shall not reveal here), she started dishing out programmes that would suit me. It went something like that (summarised)...
K: In order to reach your target weight, you will need about 50 sessions (Yes.. I do have quite a lot of kilos to loose) of the cold wrap slimming program. As each session costs $200, it works out to be about $10 000. Oh but no worries, we are having a VERY SPECIAL promotion. We will give you 3x 21% discount off the price. As such, you only have to pay $4930.34! What's more, we will throw in 10 sessions of cellulite fighting and 10 sessions of massage and body mask session - all FOC! It's very worth it!
Me: Erm.. You see. I just started working. $5K is a big sum to me... Blah Blah
K: Then how about try out half this number of sessions. ie 25 sessions of the cold wrap + 5 + 5 FOC!?!? Only about $2500+. You can pay by installments too, using credit card. So will only be about $230+ per month!
Me: I have to consult my brother first as it's his credit card.
K: But you are paying right?

Me: Yaa.. But want to ask my family first. Want their support you know.. etc etc

K: Then how about trying out a trial package? For 10 slim wrap sessions +...+..., it's only $780+. Maybe after that, I can request with my manager to revert to the earlier packages. Today's the last day of promotion for this too.

Me: Hmm.. I don't know. (Pretend to think)

K (exasperated): Fine. Why not I arrange your trial now? Please wait a moment.

As you can see, I was trying very hard to dodge all her offers. Never intended to take up any programme in the first place. Come on, if I have $5k to spare, I would definitely be off somewhere travelling!! Travelling happens to do miracles to my weight too!!

Anyhow, went for the cold wrap trial. It's really was a trial, was only given 10mins of the usual 25mins session. Firstly, my chest was wrapped in clingfilm. Then, my mid-drift, thighs and calves were bound up with rolls of bandage soaked in a cold secret formula solution. The bindings were pretty tight. Was then led to stand on this vibration machine. Initally at low speed for 3 mins, it felt rather nice. Though all my fats were squashed together, the vibration went through my whole body and I was rocking left and right. Later, they increased the speed to medium for another 3 mins. This time round, things got a bit uncomfortable. It started to feel like I couldn't breath very well and my stomach muscles were twitching. Kind of like when you get stiches after running. It was still bearable, but not comfortable at all. Luckily, they reverted back to the low speed for the last 4 minutes. Can't imagine having to suffer through that for like 20 whole minutes, maybe even at higher speeds somemore!! Anyway, was given a hand wax treatment too after the vibrating machine. Got to laze for a while in the tiny cubicle before they came in to remove all the bindings and gave me water and towel to wipe clean.. And that was it. Left the place pronto, cos was scared to be caught in another round of persuasions. Hee..

All in all.. Was interesting. It's my first time at such experiences, and probably my last and only time. Unless I find a rich husband who don't mind paying the ridiculous sum for me.. Haa.

Still find all their programmes rather dubious though. The cold wrap works on the concept that the cold will stimualte the body to generate more heat, and to do that, burn fats. It's quite a silly notion cos the body won't turn to fats to generate immediate heat source as it's much harder to break down the fats. Instead, the bodies' first energy supply are the glycogen stored in the muscles and liver. 25mins of coldness won't do much to burn fats. Instead, just gonna make you feel hungry due to the dip in glucose level. Guess the best way to fight the fabs is still the age-old tried and tested method of exercise and balance diet. Sigh. Luckily, I will be able to use the Biopolis gym real soon!!

Rush of Warmth

I just called home 5 mins ago. What for? To request for dinner.

It went something like this.. (translated from Mandarin).

Me: Hello.

Sis: Hello.

Me: Eh.. Sis ah. Wah, go home so early today.

Sis: On MC.

Me: Orh. Mom home or going for singing class liao?

Sis: No. She's home.

Me: Ok. Tell mom I want to eat potato. Fries or wedges. Any kind.

Sis: So you want fried ones lah.

Me: Baked ones also can. Not soup can liao.

Sis: Ok.

Me: Bye.

(Hang up)

Now.. why did I write this conversation out? Hee.. Because, I suddenly felt very blessed and fortunate. How many people are as lucky as me? To be able to call home and request for a particular dish for dinner? I know many friends who have packed food for dinner. To them, home-cooked food is a rarity. Others who are overseas, worse still, have to see to their own dinner. Me, I get to eat my mom's cooking practically every night. If not my mom's, then my dad's.

At about 4.30 to 5pm each weekday, my mom would send me a standard sms: Are you coming home for dinner? (In Chinese though) And my reply mostly is a single word " Yes".

I never felt as fortunate as I did over a little matter like this. But I guess it's little things like that that many people overlook. But yet, it's little things like these that show how blessed we are.

Next time you get to go home for dinner, get to pick a dish for dinner, make sure you thank your parents. Verbally if possible. If not, at least from the bottom of your heart - consciously.

Thanks Mom.

Disappear ... Lost

Wish to disappear from SG.

Again!?!? Yaa.. Guess I can't stay in SG for longer than 3 weeks without wishing I'm off somwhere else.

I wonder what's wrong with me. Why can't I be satisfied and live happily at home? Why do I always yearn to be somewhere else? In some other country? It's not as if I hate my country.. On the contrary, I love SG very much. I am very proud to be a Singaporean, despite all the ugly Singaporean attributes. I love my homeland very much... But so much that I wish that I am always not here!?!? Ironical. I am thankful that I hold the Singapore passport.. my ticket to the world beyond.

To me, SG is both my home and place of dread. This land equates to a place of expectations and a place of creature comforts. I know I will be able to live here comfortably in the material sense, but yet, I will not be able to satisfy my need to explore. I really think that I need to live abroad for an extended period of time - maybe a year or two. Maybe only after that will I be able to appreciate SG without the feeling of dread. My siblings and close friends all have had or are living their chance of being abroad. I wish for the same too...
Also, think my need to be away stems from something more troubling. I realise that I tend to wish to runaway whenever I am in face of expectations. A looming dateline is coming... And I dread it so much, I am puking. The prospect of next 6 months of torture, probably without any chance of respite in between, is like a huge constrictor around my chest - I can hardly breath. Why am I facing these responsbilities with such dread? Do I only know how to enjoy and not face challenges and fulfill expectations?

This foreboding is probably a result of not knowing what I want yet in life. Sadly, I seem to have been lamenting on this ever since I started this blog about 5.5 months ago. 5.5 months technically ain't long nor short. But I still haven't found an answer to the question. People live their whole life not knowing what they want - but I don't want to be like them. I don't want to live an aimless life. But how? How do I find that elusive answer?

At a lost all over again...

Bad Week

This has been a rather horrible week. Nothing seems to be going right. Be it my health, work or simply how I'm feeling . Sigh...

Health wise - been down with flu since Saturday. It progressively got worse.. Think yesterday was the peak, feeling slightly better today, no more runny nose at least. But damn, the throat is itchy. My voice still sounds super "sexy", super low and husky, or should I say.. rusty.

Work - Nothing is going right.. Well almost nothing. My cells got contaminated consecutively, not sure what's wrong. Suspected to be my media - culture solution used to grow the cells, but yet it appears alright. Another possibility could be my technique of course, getting careless with my steps (as commented by my mentor). Without my cells, I can't progress in my work. Have already been very stagnant in my work for like weeks or rather months... Feeling rather useless actually. Very demoralising... There isn't much time left for my research, suppose to end in December, which is just slightly more than a month away. Sigh. Maybe the only good sign is of a new protocol that I tried, adapted from a journal. This method worked very well, so well that my previous one (which I designed from scratch) pales in comparison. Feels like I have wasted months of effort, trying something that is so useless... Why didn't I discover the paper right from the start. Argh..

Mood - Been in the blues for the past few days. Think it's a result of all the negative factors like flu, work and it happens to be the time of the month too... Just feel so unmotivated, rather depressed, like nothing is going right.. To make matters worst.. past few days, the weather was a gloomy one - overcast skies all day. Today's a bright clear day, but the sunlight can't seem to chase away the gloom that has collected over the past few days. Harry Potter did nothing to cheer me up. I'm just feeling so down. I really hope that all these negative factors will be gone soon, that all these bad luck is just a phase.

I'm crying without rhyme or reason, and I can't help it. How I wish I can yell out all my frustration.. but alas I'm stuck in the office now. What's wrong with me? Why do I feel so lousy!?!? Why??

I don't know what I'm talking about already. I guess I just want to cry my eyes and heart out and fall off to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. But sadly, I still have to face 11hrs and 20mins more of today.

I'm Not A City Girl

Went for a farm visit today with MN. We visited Hay Dairy Farm at Lim Chu Kang. It's a dairy goat farm, producing fresh goat's milk daily. Contrary to what most people think, goats and goats milk don't actually have the "sao1" smell. Apparently, that only happens if the male goat tries to mate the female during the milking process. We bought a bottle of milk and shared, it's quite alright really. Very rich, since it's fresh milk.

Now, we went to the farm via public transport. Lim Chu Lang isn't exactly the most accessible place in Singapore, farms we wanted to visit are like miles apart (tried searching for a bull frog farm... but gave up). The 2 of us were like weirdos in the area. All the drivers who pass us would stare and prob think: "What are those 2 doing? Walking around Lim Chu Kang on their own. Crazy."

Now, I actually enjoyed the walk. Even though we were heading nowhere, I enjoyed being near the nature, walking along a ghostless path with greenery on either side. We were like miles from civilisation, yet still in Singapore. The tranquility was amazing. Felt so at ease, so carefree. Nothing in my head, nothing on my mind. I was at peace.

On our way back, as the bus turns into Choa Chu Kang housing estate, my heart dropped. Suddenly realised I'm back in the city, where everyone is busy, where it's hard to find people slowing down and appreciate simple things in life. Felt heavy-hearted. Felt out of place. Felt that I need to get away, want to return to that tranquility I just experienced, want to feel at peace again.

In the end, realise it's a matter of lifestyle. I'm not a city girl despite having live in Singapore all my life. I have a feeling that when I'm old, say maybe in my late 30s or 40s, I will want to move and live in a country where everything moves slowly. Maybe Laos, maybe Chiangmai. I won't leave Singapore permanently, it's my home forever. But I guess I do wish for a simpler and slower pace of life. I don't need all the luxuries and materialistic stuff. As long as I have enough to eat, a roof over my head, be connected to my family and friends, I will be happy - I believe.

Zuboing

Been back at work for almost 2 weeks. Spent most of the time waiting for 6pm to come each day. Had very little lab work to do because my cells are still growing! Tomorrow will be a busy day though.
When I had nothing to do, would prob be in front of the computer - MSNing, settling my travel photos (oh.. can see them at http://www.flickr.com/photos/niat/63397748) or reading. Not reading journals though, but reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!! Haa. Damn jia latz. Feel rather guilty that I spend work hours doing personal stuff. But there's really nothing much I can do. But I guess if I really want to, I can update my log book (which is years behind time) or search for related articles to read.. But I guess I am just plain lazy. Another thing is that I no longer have motivation for my work. Why? Because I pretty much decided that I will not be staying in research line anymore. So I guess I don't see the incentive to work so hard! So bother.. What kind of attitude is ths!! Please someone scold me! Psycho me to work harder! Die.
Starting to look into my work and travel plans again. New Zealand is number one on my list. Heard from my colleague who used to live in NZ that wages for say factory work comes up to about NZ$17/hr! But there's a tax of 11%, even after tax, there's still say $15/hr? Cool! But accomodation seems really expensive, food is expensive too unless I can cook on my own. I really wish that I will be able to earn enough to travel and save and even give family allowance! But seems like quite a tough thing to pull off, especially in NZ. But in UK, maybe can, since will be earning in pounds! Don't know.
Thinking about my plans for near future and sort of worked up to this for now:
Mar-Sep 06: Part time tourism course.
June 06: End internship
July - Sep 06: Work (preferably in tourism area)
Oct 06: Chiangmai (hone my thai massage skills so that I can work as a masseur on my travels)
Nov 06 - Apr 07: NZ (work and travel)
May 07 - Jun 07: USA/Canada (No work-holiday visa available, so maybe just travel around)
Jul 07 - max Jun 09: UK/Europe (Work in UK and travel through Europe)
A plan like this will be very demanding. Up to 3 years away from home at one shot, cos would probably fly from one city to the next without returning back.
Alternatively, I can come home after my NZ stint and work for a few months/years before doing the UK one as UK work-holiday scheme is applicable to people below 30 years old. Then probably will do US/Canada as in independent trip.
All these are pretty tentative. Ideas formulating in my head. All subjected to many changes as time goes by as my interests change and opportunities come knocking by.

Was In Thailand - Part Three

Now about the dinner with Oat. Well it didn't happen.
He wasn't in office on Sat, so on Sun I got his number from my other teacher - Dao. But couldn't reach him till like late in the afternoon. Turned out that he was away, out of town. Went to the East for a break, to clear his head (in his words). Think something is bothering him. Didn't ask much, am in no position to question of course. Anyhow, on Mon, went for my test. Got to chat with him for a bit, exchanged our contacts and took a picture. Yup.. so that's it about him. Don't think I will be going back Chiangmai anytime soon. Maybe will email him, send him the photos at least. But wonder if he will reply back, his written English can't really make it u see...
Hmm.. no more interesting stories to tell liao. It's back to work for me.. Sigh.

In Thailand - Part Two

Just came back from a Saturday night bazaar and got something I've always wanted - a henna!! It's of an indian lotus design (right), so bit complicated. Really cheap here.. cost me only 100B = $4. Back in SG, maybe $20 at least? (The other hand belongs to G.=))

Now back to my stories as promised...

On the first day when I reached Bangkok, I went to Khaosan Rd to find a place to stay for the night. After that, decided to meet G at the Hualumphong train station, which is a fair distance away from Khaosan. Anyway, got directions from the guesthouse - take bus #47, goes straight. Hence, I did. After I boarded the bus, told the conductor where I wanted to go, she replied: " Mai4 pai3." (aka don't go). I was damn shocked! Sigh, after some confusion, two kind thai ladies try to give me directions. There was also a nice thai guy who was actually on his way to the train station too to catch a subway back home. Hence, he suggested I follow him.. Along the way, started chatting with him - Siaae. Anyhow, after reaching the train station, he said that he's not in a rush and will company me till G comes, and he did. We even ended up in a noodle shop having a meal while we waited. Turned out that G was stuck at the immigration, and hence only made sense that I meet her back at Khaosan while I buy the train ticket first. Having decided on this, Siaae offered to guide me back all the way to Khaosan! And he did. In fact, this time round, we walked all the way back, a good hour of walking. He's really nice, showing me all the sights along the way, maintaing an interesting conversation. When I have problem understanding, tries very hard to explain to me. We exchanged contacts and we parted at Khaosan when G reached.

On our 4th night, back in Bangkok from Kanchanaburi, asked Siaae out for dinner. He came and brought along a friend - Dod. Dod drives but doesn't know Bangkok very well as he lives in Pitsanulok. We ended up going rounds and rounds of wrong route cos Siaae and Dod couldn't coordinate on the driving directions. Was really funny though. Anyhow, this Dod.. Sigh, he's really gross. He's even more cheeky than Oat! He's extremely blatant about his likes and by that I mean me. Ewe.. Anyway we had dinner, then went to a pub. I tried to siam Dod a bit by sitting next to Siaae and tok more to Siaae. Still in the end, had to give Dod my thai number... Wrong choice!! He has been calling me every other day every since that night! Scares the hell out of me! Everytime I see that it's him.. I off my hp! Haa.. Oh well. Luckily he doesn't have my SG no.. Won't be using the thai number for long liao.. Hengz.

Interesting?! Haa.. Not many more stories to share liao.

Didn't see Him today, though he told me that he will be in school.. Sigh. I wonder how tmr.

In Thailand - Part One

Just saw Him this morning, still as cheeky as ever, but think I am used to it and am more receptive. Haa. He held my hand to guide me across the floor, hold my wrist to check my pulse etc. Asked me out for dinner again tonight, but declined. Why? Well. I can't possibly leave G alone in CM when she's not familiar with the place. He isn't keen to have a 3 persons dinner either so have to zuo4 ba4. But think I will ask him tmr if he wants to have dinner on Sunday night instead.. Still feeling guilty about the expensive dinner we had last time round, want to treat him back. It's nothing really.. harmless flirting between friends, we both know nothing is coming out of it. So why not just have fun.. Oops. Do I sound very shameless? Haa.
Been in Thailand for 7 days already. Frankly speaking, this trip isn't as enjoyable as I envisaged. Me and G aren't exactly compatible for travelling. Not that there are lots of tension. Problem between us is we dun have common conversation. Both of us just aren't good at making conversations... I'm terrible at it. Think she is worst. More often than not, it's silence between us. Not unbearable, just bit awkward at times.
Also, guess I'm not quite cut out for being responsible for another. I'm the more experience one here, so have the obligation to look after her. Dun find tiring, just that sometimes find it hard to 2nd guess what she is thinking. She sometimes would say it's fine or alright with whatever choices we've made, but later would complain about it. E.g. Had to spend a night at Bangkok in between ourKanchanaburi and Ayutthaya trips, so decided to stay near the train station to catch the early morning train. Headed for a very dilapidated place.. It's called Sri Hualumphong Hotel. A 1930s Shanghainess lookalike hotel.. Very old and dingy. The rooms are very old and bare basic. Asked her if she's fine with it.. She said alright. So we stayed for the night. The place is a challenge to tolerance, but after the night, been hearing her complain about the place again and again. This is something I didn't expect. Thought she is understanding enough.. Afterall since u agreed to the place, should not keep complaining about it. It wasn't as if there weren't other choices available. Got quite irritated this afternoon when she talked abt it again. Sigh.. Anyway, will be having some personal space of my own these few days cos doing the foot massage course.

Got lots more stories to tell.. Including about a nice thai guy whom I meet by chance on a wrong bus.. and his gross me out friend! Haa.

Stay tune!